24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
