sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
