They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
