he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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