Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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