that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
