WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Say something about gay babies.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
