Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
