So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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