I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
