i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
