if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
