Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
