threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
