Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
