I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
