They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we're making bets on your personal life
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
