He uses pillows to masturbate.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
