I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
