just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
