Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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