I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
