I heard we made out
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Enjoy the penises
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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