He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
