he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
