I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need to sanitize my soul.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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