Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
