you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
