I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
