You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
