I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
