I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
