I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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