before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
