so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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