I just saw a hot homeless man
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
