btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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