I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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