He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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