just tell him i said nine months
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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