the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
