Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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