You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
