I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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