I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
