I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
