What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Found your dick twin last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
