Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
