it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
