"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
