I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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